I got into writing for one main reason: a girl I know did it and I wanted to prove I could do it too. OK, so she wrote chick lit and got a book deal while I wrote fantasy and…didn’t, but the point is still there: I wrote and published my book because someone I knew did it and I wanted to prove to myself that I could write too. I enjoyed it, I really did, and while I’ve published the book myself, she has finally, just a few weeks ago, had her book released for sale.
Ever since then I’ve silently suffered through the gushing torrent of self-promotion on facebook, witnessed every single positive review and generally gotten sick of the whole thing, considering quietly cutting her out from my friend list in a vain attempt to save myself the pain of seeing such mind-boggling success, but I saw something today that actually made me smile:
“Dear Friends, I’m sorry I’m just banging on about myself and my book so much at the moment – I hate it. But I need help. Amazon have finally opened up the review page on my novel and I need some good reviews – everyone’s just complaining about the swearing! For fuck’s sake! (!) So if you’ve read it already and liked it please please please write me a review. Thanks so very much. Promise to leave you all alone soon. X”
Apparently even published authors try to pad their reviews. Since that post went up she’s had most of her good reviews appear, and I’m pretty sure more are to follow.
It’s something I’ve considered, a sleight of hand move to increase the star rating of my book and hopefully bump sales, but I’ve actually managed to hold back. I have never asked anyone to write a positive review for my book because somewhat naively I believe in honesty in all things. A review isn’t just a sales pitch for my book, it’s feedback for me, the writer. I am planning more books, and every honest review has something I can learn from, be it good or bad.
This is not to say that a friend hasn’t written a review for me – indeed one has (but only one, and I asked her not to) – only that I have never asked someone to give me a false review in an attempt to improve sales.
Giving false reviews is rather like an adolescent girl stuffing her bra with paper towels: it detracts from the real beauty beneath and draws the attention of the wrong kind of people. Worse still it sets itself up for a fall at the end of the evening, when the finale doesn’t quite live up to the hype.
Sadly enough, I’m pretty sure I’m about the only writer out there that hasn’t become involved in padding my ratings. It could be one of many reasons why I sell so few books (refusal to involve myself in Kindle Select being another, but I can’t bring myself to get involved in Amazon’s naked grab for market share by forcing people like me to remove books from all other vendors, and anyway, I sell as many through B&N as I do through Amazon these days), but to me it doesn’t matter. These reviews are important to me, the good and the bad, because each and every one teaches me something.
Someone famous (and smarter than me) once wrote of evolution: “We are each of us running as fast as we can, simply to keep up”. Every review I get is another step towards catching up with the competition, towards pushing myself a little further ahead until one day the finish line hoves into sight.
I haven’t padded my reviews. I never padded my bra, either. That’s why everyone called me flat-chested throughout school. I don’t think you’re a rarity at all. I *ask* for reviews, but I tell people if they hate my book, to please recommend it to their enemies.
I see you spend quite a few blog posts moaning about your lack of sales. As someone who could have been a customer, I thought I’d tell you what I didn’t make the purchase. First of all, it’s 99 cents. Really? Is that all your book is worth to you? What’s the next lowest price on Amazon? Free? A 99 cent book is a warning sign. My first thought is not, “Oh, what a deal!” but “Oh. I wonder why?”
I looked at your product description. You called your own book a “roller coaster ride”? You are telling me it will make me “laugh out loud”? It’s off putting. Tell me what happens in the story, but don’t sell me how I should feel. Let me be the judge of that. Look at the description for Stephen King’s The Dome. “On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day, a small town is suddenly and inexplicably sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field. Planes crash into it and rain down flaming wreckage. A gardener’s hand is severed as the dome descends. Cars explode on impact. Families are separated and panic mounts. No one can fathom what the barrier is, where it came from, and when—or if—it will go away. Now a few intrepid citizens, led by an Iraq vet turned short-order cook, face down a ruthless politician dead set on seizing the reins of power under the dome. But their main adversary is the dome itself. Because time isn’t just running short. It’s running out.” Intrigue me in the story. Let it sell itself.
Ok, in spite of the off-putting description, I still checked out the free sample. If you want the reader to sympathize with your main character, the problems have to be dumped on him by other people or the world. Simon created his own problems by being apathetic and cowardly, apparently. He’s afraid of change, of standing up for himself. He’s a wuss. Why should I care what happens to a wuss? Harry Potter? His lost both his parents and his family made him live in the cupboard under the stairs. Instant sympathy. Poor little guy, I want his situation to improve. Look at Arthur Dent. On the same day a wrecking crew comes by to tear down his house, quite against his will, a fleet of alien ships show up to tear down his planet. Now, if Arthur had accidently knocked down his own house, then willingly destroyed his own planet, he wouldn’t be the same character. He’d be an oaf and a buffoon and a mass murderer, and he certainly wouldn’t be sympathetic. Your guy, Simon? I kinda hope Simon gets hit by a bus, one of those large, double-decker buses full of tourists, and they take pictures of his flattened body to show the folks back home. He’s that hard to have any sympathy for (seriously. If a dog came by afterward and peed on the dead body, I’d cheer for the dog).
Finally, when I clicked on the author name, you only have one book published. Your writing style was pleasant and there were humourous elements to the story (I didn’t read that far, but I’m hoping the potted plant goes into the wardrobe with him), so I looked for something else you’d written. There was nothing else. The best thing that’s going to sell any one of your books is having sold a book. And if you’ve only published one, this puts you at a distinct disadvantage. Rather than pissing and moaning on your blog about your lack of sales, why not write and publish another book (yes, I know, it’s hard to write a book. Don’t care. You’re a writer. Write something).
That’s pretty brutal, but I’d say it was fair! Funnily enough, I was about to post about how well sales are going on B&N, but you beat me to it!
Simon is my first novel, and I admit it isn’t perfect, but I would prefer to get feedback from real readers like yourself than to hand it to friends and be told how wonderful it is. This is why I sell it so cheap, to try and get more people to read it. I’m not sure if you are an author or not, but trying to figure out how to price your novel is like trying to select lottery numbers – you don’t know the right numbers until long after you’ve picked. I’ve tried pricing it higher (only $2.99) and been told by several authors that it is too high! You can’t please all the people all of the time, so you have to pick a number and stick with it.
It sounds like you haven’t read the whole book, but if you’d like to, have a copy on me: go to smashwords.com and you’ll be able to use the code GZ97Q for a completely free copy. You obviously have strong views about writing and I would be interested in your opinions. I am writing a second novel at the moment (and yes, these things take time to get right, plus I work for a living!) and the more I get in the way of critique on the first novel, the better the second one will be.
Finally, thanks for your comment on the description. That’s another really tough one to get right, and I have tried a few different versions, but again it’s difficult to know which one is best. I will have a look at how I can improve it.
Thanks for all your comments, and if you do take up the option of the free copy, I really hope you enjoy it.